In Darkness There is Light
by Red Witch
Summary: Continuing on from True Confessions: Ratings to be safe. Low Light is tormented by nightmares, can Lifeline use his abilites to save him before Low Light loses his sanity?


****

Disclaimer: I don't own GI Joe, so don't sue me. I can't help having insane ideas. Sorry it's been so long, this took me forever to write! This fic continues on the line of "True Confessions". I thought it was time I put my own spin on Low Light's nightmares and his past and how he deals with it. Or doesn't deal…

**In Darkness There Is Light**

Again he was in the junkyard.

Carefully raising his 22-caliber rifle, Low Light scanned the area for the enemy. He didn't have to wait long.

"Come on and get me," He hissed. 

Hundreds of glowing gold eyes glistened back at him, responding to the challenge of his words. With the confident gait of predators the rats emerged from their hiding places and came straight at him. He fired again and again but they still came. Their teeth tore at his flesh as they overwhelmed him.

That was when Low Light woke up screaming. 

He sat there in his bed, still dressed in his uniform, trying to will himself not to shake. After a few minutes he got up, went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face in an attempt to wash the nightmares away. He walked out and looked at the clock. He had only been asleep for an hour. And he'd been up for three days straight. Or was it four? He lost track of time. 

He couldn't go back to sleep again. He put on his trademark hat and goggles. The goggles were the important part for they hid his eyes rather well. He decided to do some wandering around the base again. He liked to wander when most of the other Joes were asleep. It was quiet and no one bothered him. He felt he could relax a little.

Low Light could never quite fit in with the other Joes. That didn't bother him at all. He was a sharpshooter, not a politician. He was supposed to be cold and emotionless about his job. He was trained to kill, pure and simple. Well okay technically all soldiers were if they had to fight in battle, but he was a marksman. And marksmen were trained to hit their targets no matter what they were. 

So to Low Light's mind it was no surprise that he had very few friends on the base. _Who would want to be friends with a cold heartless killer?_

Ironically he saw the answer before him in the lounge drinking coffee. Lifeline looked up and smiled. "Hey, on another midnight walk I see? Want some coffee?"

"Sure," Low Light shrugged and sat down. _What a strange sense of irony the universe has,_ he thought. _My one true friend on the base is a guy who can't stand violence of any kind. Go figure. _ Of course, the fact that Lifeline had saved his life using less than conventional means was even stranger. Only Bree and Doc knew besides Low Light about Lifeline's healing abilities. Healing abilities that pulled him back from the dead. Since Low Light decided to keep Lifeline's secret he found himself spending more and more time with the gentle medic that he would admit to. 

"What are you doing up?" Low Light asked.

"Just finishing some reports," Lifeline shrugged. He looked at him with a perceptive eye. "Nightmares?"

Low Light finished his coffee. "It's nothing I can't handle."

"Are you sure you…?" Lifeline started to ask. 

"I won't take those drugs," Low Light stopped him. "I don't even like taking aspirin. I don't care how effective they are at blocking dreams."

"You have to do something," Lifeline told him. "I can understand about the drugs, but what about Psyche Out? He might be able to…"

"Forget it!" Low Light stood up. "He's crazier than I am! How's he gonna help?"

"You can't go on like this," Lifeline shook his head. "I mean how much sleep have you gotten in the past week? Two, three hours? The human body can't function like that!" 

"I can handle it!" Low Light snapped and walked out.

"No you can't," Lifeline sighed. 

************************************************************************

"All right Joes listen up," Hawk called the briefing to order. "Tomorrow we will be in Atlantic City. Cobra has got a new arms dealer there and they are expecting a shipment. And Shipwreck don't even think about doing any gambling there!"

"AWWW!" Shipwreck pouted.

"You're sending half the team?" Lady Jaye asked looking at the duty roster. "For as simple arms shipment?"

"Not just that," Hawk told her. "There's also a biological terrorist coming in on the same drop. Goes by the name Night Adder. We have reason to suspect that he's planning something big. So that's why we need all the medics to go with us on this trip, in case of a worst-case scenario." 

"You got it," Lifeline nodded. "I'll get the equipment ready."

"Now Night Adder is extremely dangerous," Hawk showed a picture of a bald man with huge muscles and a snake tattoo over one side of his face. "Therefore the big brass wants him immobilized as soon as possible. That's where you come in Low Light." 

"Still can't say the 'K' word can they?" Low Light smirked. 

"Numerous attempts to take him alive have not only failed, but caused more damage that the boys upstairs thought possible," Hawk sighed. "If we can't disable him…"

"Hawk the phrase "Dead or Alive" usually means dead," Low Light said coldly. "I know what I gotta do. I'll do it. That's what I'm paid for."

"We'll you're Mister Cheerful aren't you?" Shipwreck quipped. 

Low Light didn't respond. He simply tuned into the meeting, trying to stay focused on the job to come. 

Before he knew it, he was in Atlantic City. Many of the Joes were undercover as businessmen and women for an accounting convention. Both Low Light and Lifeline were wearing business suits. Low Light was wearing sunglasses to hide his eyes. They were assigned the same room. "Will you look at the size of this place?" Lifeline wondered. "I've never seen anything like it." 

"Darling you ain't seen nothing yet!" Bree laughed. She was wearing a gold low cut gown that sparkled. She took both men by the arm. "Come on, let's see the sights and see how much we can lose on the slot machines!" 

"Bree we have no time for that now," Lifeline snapped. "We have to go to our rooms and get ready for the mission."

"For once I'm with him," Low Light agreed.

"Oh don't be couple of spoilsports!" Bree smirked. "Look! A dessert buffet!" She dragged the two men into the restaurant. A few hours later they finally emerged. "That was a great snack!" 

"That was a snack?" Low Light gasped. "You had three sundaes and two pieces of pie!" 

"Well I've been watching my figure so I thought I'd go a little light today," Bree shrugged. "Come on! Let's go check the rooms out!" 

"Fine," Lifeline sighed. "We need the rest."

Low Light shook his head, wondering how he had ever acquired such strange friends. Ever since Lifeline had saved his life and Bree learned that Low Light knew of Lifeline's secret abilities, the three had been practically inseparable. Soon they got to Lifeline's and Low Light's room.

"They only gave us one bed?" Lifeline looked around. True it was a single, with a huge bed in the middle. 

"Wow this bed's big enough for three!" Bree smirked. "That could give a girl interesting ideas." 

"We're sharing a room," Lifeline told her. "As in Low Light and myself! Not you!"

"Awww! I'm sure Low Light wouldn't mind, would you Low Light?" Bree smiled.

"Lifeline tell your insane girlfriend to leave me out of her sex fantasies," Low Light groaned. 

"You're no fun anymore," Bree wagged her finger and winked. She then left the room.

"I just realized something," Low Light sighed. "GI Joe has the most insane people on the planet in it." 

"You've been on the team how long and you're just realizing it now?" Lifeline raised an eyebrow. 

"Touché."

"I just hope Bree doesn't try anything," Lifeline sighed.

"I wouldn't be surprised knowing her," Low Light groaned. "Why don't you just act like a normal sex-obsessed guy and sleep with her already? That way I don't have to have nightmares about her coming in and trying to have her way with me!" 

"I'm just not ready okay?" Lifeline blushed. 

"Wonderful, a wealthy hormone crazed nurse in love with the one guy on the planet who doesn't keep his brain in his pants," Low Light sat down in the chair. "You are totally insane you know that? You must have been a woman or something in a previous life. That's the only way I can explain it. That's why you're neglecting that love starved lunatic!"

"Well if you're so worried about her needs why don't you sleep with her?" Lifeline's eyebrow cocked.

"Are you insane? I have enough nightmares thank you very much!" Low Light rested his head against the back of the chair.

"Do you want to lie down on the bed?" Lifeline asked. "Try to get some sleep? I can take a walk if you like…"

"Nah, this is fine," Low Light shrugged. 

Lifeline simply sat down and started going over files quietly. Every now and then he looked at Low Light out of the corner of his eye. His breathing became slower, more regular. For ten minutes he seemed actually peaceful. Then he started to twitch. He woke up with a start, gasping for breath.

"Another nightmare?" Lifeline asked.

"Brilliant deduction," Low Light grumbled. "What time is it?"

"We still have a few hours before the mission," Lifeline told him. "You were only asleep for a few minutes."

"It'll have to do," Low Light got up. "Come on, we might as well get ready. It'll be game time soon enough."

"Are you sure about this? Maybe you should…"

"I can handle this!" Low Light snapped. "I don't need you to tell me how to do my job!" He went into the bathroom and slammed the door. Lifeline stood there and sighed, hoping that his friend was right.

************************************************************************

The Cobra ship was going to dock in a less populated seaport on the edge of Atlantic City, as far from the casinos as possible. Low Light and the other Joes were in position. Low Light himself was situated on the balcony of an abandoned tower near the docks. He had a tether on in order to keep him from falling, just in case. 

"Low Light in position," He whispered into his communicator. 

"Get ready," Beach Head whispered from his position as the Cobra ship came into dock. "It's ShowTime."

Low Light lifted his rifle to his shoulder and started to focus. That's when the world suddenly decided to spin in front of his eyes. _No! Not now!_ Low Light tried to shake it off. But it was no use. The lack of sleep had finally caught up with him. He didn't know what was happening, everything was blurry. The next thing he knew he heard Beach Head's voice screaming at him from the communicator, but he couldn't figure out what he was saying. 

Low Light wobbled precariously from the tower. He couldn't focus on the target. Everything swam about and fuzziness clouded his eyes. He fired. Not only did he miss the target; he nearly hit Beach Head. 

"What the Sam Hill is that idiot Low Light think he's doing?" Beach Head spat. 

"Oh no," Lifeline whispered to himself. "I knew something like this was going to happen!" 

Low Light couldn't stand anymore. Only the tether kept him from falling out of the tower. He slumped in and out of consciousness, unable to fight off the dizziness overwhelming him. His body was rebelling at the lack of sleep. He heard sounds of gunfire but could not place them. The next thing he knew someone was dragging him down a flight of stairs. How did that happen? How did he get out of the tower? He looked around and his vision finally cleared up enough to see it was Lifeline dragging him.

"Come on Low Light pick up your feet!" Lifeline snapped.

"Feet?" Low Light asked, confused.

"Yes feet. Those flat things on the end of your legs!" Lifeline snapped.

"But they're so…heavy," Low Light muttered. 

"Oh fine!" The next thing he knew he was slung over Lifeline's shoulder as he was carried out of the building. 

Everything else became a blur for Low Light. Things were happening around him but he wasn't sure what. He closed his eyes for one second and the next he knew he was back in the hotel room. 

"Okay how did I get back here?" He muttered. He put his hand to his temple, trying to rub away a huge headache. 

"You passed out and nearly shot Beach Head," Bree told him. She and Lifeline were in the room. "Not that I don't applaud your effort. Needless to say Night Adder got away. But we did get the shipment so that threat's been neutralized, no thanks to you."

"Wonderful," Low Light grumbled. "Hawk's gonna kill me."

"General Hawk is the least of your worries," Lifeline snapped. "I should have forced you to confront this problem long ago. What are you doing?"

"Leaving," Low Light said simply, standing up. "I am not in the mood for another safety lecture."

"Sit down!" Lifeline commanded, his voice having an unusual edge of authority in it. "As of now you are on medical leave!"

"You can't do that!" Low Light snapped.

"He just did," Bree walked into the room. "I just informed Hawk that you are unable to continue the mission due to medical reasons."

"WHAT?" Low Light bristled. "I'm gonna go see…"

"You're not going anywhere!" Lifeline restrained him easily. "You can barely function, let alone fight!" 

"You can't stop me!" Low Light hissed.

"Oh really?" Lifeline gently pushed Low Light onto the bed with a single finger. Low Light plopped down on it as if Mike Tyson had knocked him down. 

"Now listen up," Bree put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "You have been a complete and total jerk about this whole thing. I am sick and tired of your macho lone wolf 'I don't need anybody's help' attitude! We're your friends and if you think for one minute we're gonna let you destroy yourself you have another think coming. Don't tell us you can work this out for yourself because you can't! Now you are going do lie there and do exactly what Lifeline tells you to do and let us take care of you! If you try to set as much as a toe off that bed again, I will personally strip you of every stitch of clothing you have on to keep you from running off!"

"You wouldn't…" Low Light blinked.

"She would," Lifeline nodded. "Trust me on this."

"Try me," she glared. 

Low Light looked back and forth at the two medics for a second. Then he hung his head down and slumped his shoulders in resignation. "Okay," His voice was very small. "You win. I give up. I'm just so…tired," He put his head in his hands. 

"Okay," Lifeline sighed. "You won't take drugs. Fine. And I can't get you to Psyche Out so there's only one way I can get you to sleep!" 

"Sleeping's not the problem," Low Light frowned. "It's the damn nightmares!"

"Well this ought to work," Lifeline sat down on the bed next to him. "I think."

"Well it worked before," Bree told him. She removed Low Light's hat and goggles. Low Light looked far worse than she imagined. His eyes were red and heavily bagged from lack of sleep. "You look awful."

"Thanks a lot," Low Light muttered.

"Bree maybe you'd better leave the room so we can have some privacy," Lifeline said.

"Hey you're getting to the good part," Bree smiled. 

"Oh let her stay," Low Light grumbled. "It's too late to hide anything from her anyway."

"Fine," Lifeline sighed. "Now lie down," He indicated his lap.

"You're kidding?" Low Light blinked.

"Nope," Bree nodded her head.

"Why can't I lie down in her lap?" Low Light asked.

"Because I don't have healing abilities," Bree told him. "Just do it."

"Is he going to go into my head again?" Low Light asked.

"Only if you want me to," Lifeline shook his head. "Something tells me you don't want that so I'll just use my abilities to relax you."

"You are going to enjoy this aren't you?" Low Light asked Bree, groaning. "Lifeline you have one weird girlfriend."

"Just do it," Bree pushed him down. Low Light swallowed his pride and did as he was told. 

"Now close your eyes," Lifeline gently began to massage his temple. "I'll sit with you while you sleep. You'll be safe." 

"Safe," Low Light muttered. "This is so stupid. You taking care of me as if I was some little kid with night terrors."

"Well you only have yourself to blame!" Lifeline scolded him. "If you'd have a least talked to Psyche Out like you were supposed to you wouldn't be in this mess now would you?"

"Okay mom," Low Light grumbled sarcastically. "You made your point."

"Just go to sleep," Lifeline told him in a gentler tone. "We'll watch over you."

Low Light tried to grunt but it came out sounding more like a whimper. Bree removed his boots and covered him with a blanket. As embarrassed as he was, Low Light felt somehow grateful. He really couldn't function anymore. The ironic thing was that Bree and Lifeline were treating him the same way he had always wanted his parents to treat him. But they never did. 

Great, he was so exhausted he was reverting to his childhood. _What's next?_ He thought to himself as he closed his eyes. _I'll be asking for a teddy bear. Though I have to admit, this does feel good._ Lifeline's hands were gently glowing. A pleasant warmth began to circulate throughout his entire body. He actually felt comfortable like this. His mind drifted into his subconscious. 

And he was in the junkyard again. 

He whirled around and saw thousands of glowing eyes staring at him. The rats were back. "Come on," He hissed. His voice was shaking. "Come and get me! I won't let you win! I beat you before! I can beat you again!" 

A huge tidal wave of rodents rose up and bared their fangs at him. Low Light couldn't concentrate. He couldn't control the dream. He was too exhausted and disoriented from lack of rest. His subconscious was in control and he knew it. He tried to run away from the creatures tearing at his ankles. He tried to create light as he had done before, but found it was useless. 

"I…I…can't fight this anymore!" Low Light cried out. "I don't want to be left alone in the dark anymore! Help me! Lifeline if you can hear me, get me out of here! I need help. Please don't let them get me! Come and get me!" 

The metallic rats ran faster. Low Light tried to run but the creatures soon overtook him. He tried to brush them off, but there were too many of them. The sheer force of their numbers knocked him to the ground.

"LIFELINE PLEASE!" Low Light screamed as the rats swarmed over his body. "HELP ME!" 

"Get off of him!" 

Lifeline started batting away the rats with a piece of wood. He managed to get them off of Low Light's body somehow, but they still had them cornered. 

"They've got us surrounded!" Low Light shouted. 

"Get rid of them then," Lifeline told him. "You can do it! You've done it before! Concentrate!" 

"I can't!" Low Light shouted, desperately whacking the rats away.

"Yes you can!" Lifeline shouted. "DO IT!" 

Low Light screamed followed by a flash of blinding light. They were gone. The rats had disappeared. "I did it," Low Light said.

"What is it with you and rats anyway?" Lifeline asked. 

"It's not a pleasant story," Low Light shuddered. "Me and junkyards have a history."

Then Lifeline saw it. Two figures on the edge of the junkyard. One was a tall man with a cruel sneer. The other was a frightened boy, no older than seven or eight. "I ain't gonna have a son who's a coward!" The man snapped. "Prove you're no wimp! I want you to kill twenty rats! And don't come back until you do! Hear me coward?"

"Yes father," The boy said softly. "I promise I'll do what you want."

"In the dark Cooper," The man sneered, shoving him forward. "In the dark! Take this flashlight! Come home when you've done it! Not before!" He tossed an air rifle and some ammo at the boy's feet. Then he walked away. The boy didn't dare make a sound until the man was gone for a long time. 

"He just left you there?" Lifeline gasped. 

"I had no choice," Low Light said. "I had to do what he said. The first night was the worst."

"First night?" Lifeline looked at him. "How long were you out there?"

"Three days and two nights," Low Light told him. They watched as the boy fought against the rats that came over him during the night and days. Finally the boy shot his final rat and trudged home.

"Where was your mother?" Lifeline dreaded this question. 

"She was in the hospital," Low Light said simply. "He put her there. When I finally showed my father what I did I thought maybe now he wouldn't think I was a coward. Here's the kicker." They were in a kitchen. The boy was staring at the man lying face down on the kitchen table. "He was too drunk to care. He yelled at me later for bringing the rats into the house. He'd forgotten all about what he told me to do and yelled at me like it was my own fault."

Then the scene shifted to the forest. "That was the day I decided to run away. Two weeks after that, my dad and I went on a camping trip alone. He yelled at me, calling me useless as usual. Well, I waited for night." They were now at a campsite. The father was drinking his way through a six pack. The son was quietly watching. "All I had to do was wait until he drank himself into a stupor."

The father fell asleep. The boy picked up some ammo, a flashlight, his gun and his backpack. He took one last look at his father and walked away into the night. "I decided to never come back." 

"You just left to go live in the forest?" Lifeline was amazed. 

"Wouldn't you?" Low Light asked him. "I kept walking all night and into the day, far enough into the woods so he'd never find me. Ironically it was him that taught me how to survive in the woods." 

They now saw the boy happily relaxing at a campsite he made. "I think those were the happiest two weeks of my childhood," Low Light smiled at the memory. "I was alone and free. I ate well due to what I packed and hunted. I felt safe. But all good things come to an end." 

A few rangers came into the clearing. The boy greeted them with a grin from ear to ear. "I should have been more careful," Low Light sighed. "But they found me and took me back. I could have put up a struggle I guess but it would only have delayed the inevitable." A beautiful woman with long blond hair reached out and hugged the boy. "My mother thought it was a miracle. My father thought he was cursed. I'd forgotten how beautiful she was once." 

"She obviously loved you," Lifeline said. "She was happy to see that you were back." 

"I didn't want to come back," Low Light said softly. "If I could have lived my life without seeing any of my family I would have done it."

"Low Light," Lifeline started to say. 

"That's not the worst of it," Low Light hung his head down in shame. They found themselves in a strange dining room. There was a young Cooper, his parents and his younger sister before them.

"I was only fourteen," Low Light whispered as they watched the drama play out in front of them.

"Stupid broad," The elder McBride snarled at his wife. "Forgot to get me a pack of cigarettes!"

"I'm sorry if I forgot," The thin frail woman blinked. "I'll go to the store and get some now if you like." 

"TOO LATE!" He snarled. "You didn't forget and you know it you lying slut! Been pestering for years for me to give it up you damned busybody! We'll you ain't gonna 'forget' after tonight!"

"I couldn't take it any more," Low Light whispered. They watched the boy jump up and place himself in front of his mother. 

"It's not her fault Dad," Young Cooper told him. "She asked me to get them and I forgot! If you're gonna punish someone, punish me!"

"Who told you to speak boy?" The man growled at Cooper. "So it was your fault huh? Well I'm gonna…"

"Go ahead!" Cooper spat out. "I can take it! I've been taking it all my life! Just leave mom and Una alone!"

"Who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do you worthless coward!" He struck out at Cooper. The boy saw it coming and ducked it, without thinking he hit his father with a force so great the man fell. Silence. Never in his life did Cooper ever dream of doing such a thing. He hid his fear and glared at the older man.

The man stood up with rage in his eyes. "You useless freak!" He snarled. "You dare hit me? Your own father?"

"Yes I dare!" Young Cooper growled. "I've had it with you! I just can't stand by and let an old bitter drunk like you hit us anymore! I won't let you beat any of us again!"

"Beating's too good for you, ya uppity snot nosed little brat," The man stormed into the next room.

"Ezra please!" His mother cried out. "He didn't mean it!"

"Oh yes I did!" Young Cooper snapped. "Don't worry mom, I can handle anything he throws at me!"

"Oh is that so?" His father came back in the room with a rifle. "Can you handle this?" He shot at the boy. Cooper barely dodged it. 

"Daddy!" Una cried out. "No don't! Please!"

"Stop!" His mother tried to restrain him. "He's just a boy!"

"He's a mistake!" He roared, knocking her down. "A stupid useless mistake! You never should have had him! You should have had that abortion! If you did I wouldn't have had to marry a tramp like you!"

He kept firing. Cooper dodged the bullets somehow. He ran out the door, holding Una's hand. They ran into the night. The father shouted from the doorway. "You brats keep running and don't come back! You hear? If I find either of you I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

Lifeline watched in horror as both children ran for their lives. Tears were openly streaming down Una's face. Finally when they thought they were a safe enough distance, Cooper collapsed on his knees and cried. Una clung to him, shaking. "Don't cry Una," Cooper told her gently. "I'll take care of you. We're on our own now. Don't worry, I'll protect you." They held each other for a long time, crying in each other's arms. 

"For three days we lived on the streets," Low Light spoke. "We were too afraid to go to a shelter or the police. And the neighbors were no help. We hid in the junkyard. I thought he'd never look for us there…I was wrong." 

The scene changed again. This time it was the junkyard. An abandoned car had been outfitted as a makeshift tent. Una was putting some twigs on a small fire. Cooper was starting to move away from the camp. He had a baseball bat for protection. "Una I'm gonna go look for some stuff we can use," He told her. "Don't go away from the fire okay? The rats might come back."

Una nodded and Young Cooper wandered off. Along the way he encountered a rat, which he tried to clobber with the bat, but missed. But he managed to chase it away. 

"I was always chasing the rats away," Low Light told him. "They kept trying to sneak into camp as Una slept. I stayed awake and protected her. But I couldn't protect us forever."

A scream brought the boy running back to camp. Una was crouching in terror as their father loomed over her with a rifle. He took her in his sights.

"NO!" The boy screamed and whacked his father with the baseball bat right on his shoulder. He kept screaming and hitting the man over and over. 

"You worthless…" The man screamed and pointed his rifle at Cooper.

BLAMM! The boy fell backwards as a huge patch of blood shot out of his shoulder. Una screamed. Then some figures rushed out around the corner.

"STOP POLICE!" One of them screamed. The man took off. Una raced to her fallen brother's side and tried to stop the bleeding. Lifeline and Low Light watched it happen as if it were in slow motion. 

"I don't know how the cops found us," Low Light told him. "I guess somebody saw us and reported us. If they hadn't found us when they did…we'd have died. The last thing I saw of my father before I passed out was a look of satisfaction when I got hit. As if he had finally got rid of some unwanted vermin. I woke up a few days later…"

They were now in a hospital room. He was alone on the bed. "My mother didn't even come to see me," He whispered. "They had taken Una away to my Aunt's house. I was alone. Then a policeman came in to see me and to tell me what had happened to my father."

Then the cop appeared. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this son," he spoke concerned. "You're father's dead. He was killed trying to escape in his car. He went to fast around the curb…"

"Are you sure he's dead?" The boy spoke without emotion.

"Yes," He said.

"Good," The boy looked away.

"I didn't cry for my father," Low Light stood there shaking. "I didn't even go to the funeral. I couldn't…I…" He broke down and started to cry. Lifeline held his shoulder. 

"What kind of person am I that wanted to kill his own father?" Low Light wept. "I don't know what hurts me more, that I wanted him dead or that part of me is upset because I wanted to kill him myself! I probably could have too, if I just hit a little higher and harder with that bat. But I couldn't I was too scared to kill him. I hated him so much…because I loved him and he didn't love me. I ruined his life and my mom's being born. She didn't live much long after. She still loved him. Why I have no idea, but she blamed me for his death. I remember the last time I spoke to her…"

Again back at the house. "You got all your stuff?" The woman that was his mother spoke without emotion. Gone was any trace of the gentle kind woman Lifeline saw earlier. Now she was older and hard as stone. 

"Yeah," Cooper picked up the backpack. "Do we really have to go stay at Aunt Rachel's."

"I don't want you here," She didn't even look at him. "You're a murderer. You killed your own father. He'd still be alive if it wasn't for you."

"That's not true!" Cooper cried out.

"I never should have had you," She spoke mostly to herself. "You ruined my life. I never should have had you."

Cooper walked away. "You're right. You shouldn't have had me. You didn't take care of me very well now did you? I wish you weren't my mother. I wish I had one who loved me."

The room grew dark. "The next day I went back to apologize and try to talk to her. I found her in the bedroom." The scene changed to what Low Light described. "She had taken a ton of pills and died. She committed suicide. My mother killed herself because she couldn't stand that she had me. The things I said…I can never take them back! I killed her just like I was responsible for my father's death!" 

"You listen to me," Lifeline grabbed him by the shoulders. "It. Was. Not. Your. Fault! You hear me?" 

"Of course it was," Low Light shook his head. 

"Why?" Lifeline asked. "Because your father was a drunk who didn't care about anyone but himself? Who's idea of fun was making other people miserable? Who if anyone was different or stood up to him they had to be cut down and destroyed in anyway possible? How is that your fault?"

"Because…" Low Light grasped for words. "Because…It just was! I could have done something!"

"There was nothing you could have done!" Lifeline shouted. "Your mother didn't kill herself because of what you said! She killed herself because she was sick and hurt and half crazy by what your father did to her and you and your sister! She was feeling guilty about not saving you! That's why she did it!"

"How do you know!" Low Light snapped. "How could you possibly know? You don't have all the answers!"

"I never said I did!" Lifeline snapped. "I just know by the look in her eyes. And if you stepped back and…"

"Oh here it comes," Low Light rolled his eyes. "Another lecture from Mr. Perfect!"

"I am not perfect!" Lifeline snapped. 

"Mr. Goody-Two Shoes," Low Light ranted. "Mister 'Let's Give Peace a Chance!' You always have to save everybody don't you? Even when they don't want saving!" Low Light felt ashamed that Lifeline witnessed his secret pain. 

"Hey you called for me this time remember?" Lifeline said. "I didn't force my way into your mind! You called me in here!" 

"Don't remind me!" Low Light shouted. "Why did you make me remember this? Why couldn't have you left me alone?"

"Because you needed my help!" Lifeline shouted back. "If it was the other way around you would do the same thing!"

"No I wouldn't! I'd have ignored you and minded my own business!" 

"No you wouldn't! You would have tried to help just like me!" 

"I'm not like you!" Low Light screamed. "I could have been, but my father made sure that I could never be kind. I was kind and gentle when I was little. I hated fighting. But he couldn't leave me as I was. Because I didn't measure up to his idea of what a man should be. Because I wasn't like him. So he forced me to be like him."

"Maybe he was just trying to help you in his own way…" Lifeline stared.

"No. He did it because he was ashamed of me. Because of him, I grew up thinking that being kind and gentle was the same thing as being weak. He killed whatever good was in me," Low Light wept. "I've become nothing more than a killing machine thanks to him."

"You are good. You fight because you have too," Lifeline told him. "You fight in your way and I fight in mine."

"I'm a sniper, not a fighter. I was trained to kill," Low Light said simply. "You know the funny thing," Low Light laughed a bitter laugh. "Part of me wishes I was more like you. Now is that sick or what?"

"No," Lifeline shook his head. "It's not so bad to want to be peaceful. Do you want to know a secret?"

"What?"

"Sometimes I question my commitment to being a pacifist," Lifeline closed his eyes. "I see the world around me and I wonder…If I should be more like you." 

"Oh well now it's official! My world is totally without any sense or meaning whatsoever," Low Light shook his head. "If you want to be like me you are worse off than I am!" 

"Well then that makes us both psychopaths doesn't it?" Lifeline snapped. "But let me ask you something, if you're such a monster, why did you join GI Joe?"

"What?" Low Light looked at him. "I just went into the army because I'm good at fighting and shooting. Not to mention the obvious, killing."

"So are a lot of Cobras," Lifeline said. "So are a lot of mercenaries. You could have left the army after your hitch and taken that road. So why didn't you?"

"That's a stupid question," Low Light started to walk away.

"Well then let's hear the answer," Lifeline followed him. "Come on Low Light, Mister Big Bad Sniper, I wanna know! Why didn't you become a mercenary? You certainly would have had a lot more money by now? So why did you? Come on Low Light I wanna hear your answer! What smart mouthed cynical response do you have to come up with? Tell me!"

"You wanna know why?" Low Light whirled on him.

"Yeah," Lifeline snapped. 

"Because I wanted to make a difference that's why!" Low Light shouted at him. "I didn't want to end up as some old drunk who saw the world in black and white! If I was going to be a monster at least I'd be a monster that killed the bad guys! Not hurt innocent scared people…like my dad." 

Low Light looked away and kicked at the ground. "Oh crap," He swore. "I'm a god damn bleeding heart! I'm a goody-goody idealist just like…ugh. I feel sick."

"Looks like your father didn't destroy that part of you after all," Lifeline said. He put a hand on his shoulder. "I hate to break this to you Low Light, but you're a good person deep down inside."

"Now I am really going to be sick," Low Light groaned. 

"Maybe you're not the monster you think you are," Lifeline said. "If you really feel the way you do, you're…"

"Don't say it!" Low Light groaned. "Look can we get out of here before we both start singing or something?"

"Hang on," Lifeline took his shoulder. Then there was light. 

Slowly Low Light's eyes fluttered open. "Wha…?"

"That didn't take long," Bree looked over him. "You were only out for a half hour. What happened?"

"Trust me you don't want to know," Lifeline groaned.

Low Light sat up, shaky. "Is…is it over?" He whimpered.

"No," Lifeline shook his head. "It's just the beginning for you. But it's a start. You have to do the rest yourself." 

"I'm still so tired," Low Light groaned. 

"You're tired?" Lifeline gave him an amused look. "It's not exactly easy using my abilities you know!" He got up to the bathroom to splash some water on his face.

Bree sat next to Low Light on the bed. "Come on, don't worry. It'll be okay. We'll take care of you." 

"It seems like you're always taking care of me lately," Low Light muttered. 

Lifeline sighed and sat on the other side of the bed, next to Bree. "I think you should go back to sleep. You still need more rest."

"Come on," Bree indicated. "I'll hold you if you want."

Low Light sighed and lowered his head. Bree allowed him to rest his head on her shoulder and stroked his hair. "Go back to sleep now," She ordered. "You're still exhausted."

"Don't leave me," He muttered weakly, his eyes drooping lower.

"We won't," Lifeline told him. Bree snuggled against Lifeline's chest. It was strange sight, Low Light wondered. Bree was resting against Lifeline. He was resting against Bree. "I must be desperate for human contact," Low Light sighed. "If I hang around all the time with a couple of nutcases like you two." 

"More like the other way around," Lifeline smirked. 

"I've been alone so long," Low Light yawned. "I'd forgotten how it felt to be touched, let alone held by someone."

"You're not alone anymore," Lifeline looked at him. "Bree and I will always be here for you. We're your friends." 

_We're more than friends now,_ Low Light thought. _We're brothers._

Instead he said, "Some friends. Most people invite friends over for dinner. Not dream orgies." 

"That can be a real orgy you know if you keep talking like that," Bree told him. 

"Bree!" Lifeline groaned.

"You're right," Bree smiled. "Low Light's more like our kid now than a playmate. Since we have to take care of him all the time."

"Do we have to listen to her much longer?" Low Light groaned.

__

"Don't interrupt your mother," Lifeline said with a grin. 

__

"Ha, Ha," Low Light grumbled before he drifted peacefully into a dreamless sleep for the first time in a long while. 


End file.
